I was out with other soldiers while on weekend pass. Several of us split a hotel room. I ended up getting blackout drunk. I woke up while i was being raped and tried to fight, but i was hit in the head or something and blacked out again. I woke up in a lot of pain. I never told anyone. I never knew who it was that raped me. I was ashamed and confused and tried to move on with my life. In 2017 i attempted suicide and was put on suicide watch where i convinced the dr. It was all a misunderstanding. In 2020 i was about to kill myself and my wife got me to seek help. I’m in ptsd therapy with the VA right now and trying to maybe get my mental health rated for a disability rating. I’m permanently messed up and can trust people or connect with my own kids emotionally. I don’t know what else to do.