***Trigger Warning***

Entered Basic training at age 17 – Alabama – Raped by drill Sargent. Supply room in basement he got a mattress and put on floor. After rape I went AWOL – went back but did not tell anyone about rape as I didn’t want to get him in trouble. I got an article 15. AIT – Ft Sill Oklahoma – went well. Then my home at FT Hood Texas. I was always getting Fridays off as my boots were shined very bright and I starched my creases. I was the only girl in my Squad. I found out later after my assault they hated me getting Friday off every week for many weeks. After about 3 months I was invited to play spades in one of the guys’ dorms. First mistake. They said another girl was coming, that’s how they got me to go. I was raped by 3 of the squad while the fourth was a lookout. They raped me and took turns holding my arms and legs. After they were done I ran and ran and hid behind cars in the parking lot. Before running they threw my hat out the window. I did not stop to pick it up. If you’ve been in the military you know that is a cardinal sin. As I was approaching my platoon’s office, a lieutenant from another battalion stuck his head out and yelled very deep and hard, “Private get your hat on now and I mean now, what is your name Private?” I continued to go to office while tears just rolled and rolled. I got there and went into the First Sarg’s office and the chaplain shaking and crying, I could barely talk. After about 2 hours of interrogation the chaplain asked me to come to his office to which the First Sarg agreed. I really don’t remember anything the chaplain said. At the end he made me sit on his lap. Gave me his card and said keep that, “if I ever need to talk, call me.” I wanted to go home. They persuaded me to discharge under honorable conditions (so nice of them). After about a week I was given a bus ticket home. I never shared with anyone, no one. I think I felt guilty for going to the room as that’s what the First Sarg and chaplain kept saying, I am never to enter another dorm, especially of the opposite gender. I met my husband at age 25. Between 17- 25 I had multiple suicide attempts. After meeting my husband everything changed. I put the incident behind me. After 35 years of marriage, he still doesn’t know. When we go to grandkids and kids sporting events they always salute to the service members. I never wanted to stand up. I would cringe. My husband would say, “if we can get your DD214 we could have lots of discounts.” I would cringe. Not sure, maybe before I die I will tell him. I do not hate the Drill Sergeant and 4 squad members. They actually made me who I am today.